How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
