Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
