Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
