remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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