i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize