This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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