we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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