no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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