If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
