Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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