I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
