My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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