so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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