I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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