Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
