When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
should my penis look like a turkey
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
