oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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