well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
