When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
