I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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