He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
