Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
