I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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