Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
