I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
