you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
