we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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