I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
