i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
