apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize