She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
