i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
