Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize