Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
