what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
