I love black thongs
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
