butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
