whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
