Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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