The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
