Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
