alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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