i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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