I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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