My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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