it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
