I faked an abortion last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
