the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
