Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
