Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
