I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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