somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
