I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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