on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
