so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize