ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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