so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
