you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
