the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
