You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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