I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
