And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You can't just leave with hair like that
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
