How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
