do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
