and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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