I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
